Burnout
Burnout.
It’s real. It sucks. It doesn’t have to.
We have all been there. Chances are we will be there again. We don’t have to be.
There are some for who burnout is a symptom of circumstance since their efforts are simplying necessary for their day to day survival. This article is not for those individuals I as will not pretend to relate to their hardship. Thier burnout may be justified as a means to improve their circumstances, or that of their dependents.
This post is for those of us like I, who have at many times been down right irresponsible with respect to our own well being as a consequence of abundance and opportunity. If you’re reading this, you fall into that category as it means you are fortunate enough to have the leisure time to explore and learn about topics such as this one.
At least in the part of the country I am in at the time of writing this, two cultural norms persist.
When you ask someone how they’re doing, more often than not they’ll respond with “busy.”
FOMO, that is the “fear of missing out,“ is a source of anxiety for many people.
This post is intended to explore these norms, and question them. My objective with writing this is to have you (the reader) have a conversation with your mind if you find yourself subject to these norms more often than you would like to.
I’ll share my story.
Throughout my 20s, I had a lot of insecurities; more than I care to admit. Were they influenced by upbringing and life events? Of course; everyone’s are. We are the product of our experiences and environment. These insecurities in many ways fueled most of my own FOMO leading to serious health issues resulting in cyclical stress and burnout periods. It was only after visiting my doctor before my 29th birthday did I take serious efforts to start addressing these insecurities and make the necessary changes to resolve the systemic causes.
While there were many insecurities that got nipped in the butt over this period, the one that helped me the most was learning the act of saying “no” more often than “yes.” Not only does such a choice directly address FOMO at the source, it was essential in building slack into my own processes so that I could make room for the improvements I am still implementing to this day.
Did I upset some people when saying “no” to them? Yes. Does saying “no” result in missing out? Probably. Here is an interesting consideration though. In finance and economics there is a concept called opportunity cost, and it is a real consideration these professionals make in the real world. The idea is this; given a set of constraints (an example is effort) the cost of making a decision is foregoing the alternatives of that decision. An example involving FOMO is going to a party instead of taking a night in for yourself. When you really think about it, we’re always missing out on something, no matter what choice we make. The difficult part is understanding our own intention on why we make the choices that we do.
Culturally, we are out of balance; at least in this neck of the woods. Upon gradually giving myself the permission to step back did my observations of just how out of balance we are become clear. “Busy-ness,” FOMO, and keeping up with the Jones’ is not necessary for most to live a fulfilled life. For the well being of society at large, we need to set a new example. We need to learn to say “no” and “yes” with conviction; to stop wearing “busy-ness” as a badge of honour, and take measures to ensure that our lives are trending towards a long term state of balance.
It’s not going to be easy. Change is difficult. It actually makes a lot of sense why we generally don’t like change. Naturally humans are psychologically risk averse, so we would rather accept certainties even if they make us unhappy over uncertainies where the outcome is unknown.
While many of the events and life experiences that we as people grow up with are often beyond our scope of control, how we choose to react to them is well within it. On that note, I would implore you to ask yourself, have I been burned out? Am I burned out? What choices did I make that got me here? What choices may I take that will bring me back into balance?